Hello. My name is Charly and I've never been on a plane....EVER!
Ya'll need to watch the nightly news on December 22nd. This is what you might hear and see.....
Dec. 22-Any Major News Network,
"A young (hee, hee!) newlywed on her way to NYC with her husband for their honeymoon, went a little crazy while in transit from Kansas to New York City." More on this story from our reporter, Bertha Lou.
"It was her first time to fly and she thought she could handle it without the help of liquor, drugs or being knocked out, but she was wrong.
Airline Stewardess #1 recalls seeing this woman sweating bullets. "She was all pale and she looked really sick. She kept telling people this was her first time to fly. I was worried about her, so I offered a little bottle of vodka and a barf bag. I thought it would help!"
Her husband thought she would be fine, but then they came over the intercom saying there was turbulence. "She just freaked, saying she was going to die and something about us not growing old together and children playing in the backyard. I really wanted to slap some sense into her but I resisted."
After much disturbance and the young lady scaring all the children and some grown men on the plane, the pilot decided the best thing would be to finish the flight to Dallas (our layover on the way to NYC???Why Dallas? That's South and we are going North!) and not allow the lady to finish the flight to NYC.
The young lady's response, "Oh thank God I don't have to get back on that flying death trap. I've always wanted to honeymoon in Dallas, who need NYC when you have Dallas!" She has now been banned from flying on any airline for the next 80 years.
On a side note: her husband left her butt behind in Texas and enjoyed his honeymoon in NYC.
So....can you tell I'm very anxious about this flying bit. I have faith in myself that I will set my brain to a mode of peace by Saturday, but hmmm...turbulence, delays, de-icing. I'll freak! Hell, I get nervous seeing airplanes fly above my apartment.
I'm seeking out advice from some seasoned travelers (Jessica) or actually any advice will be much appreciated. Help this poor flat lander who does not want to be airborne.